How to define your comfort zone?

You grow, so does your comfort zone! All the good things will come to those who waits, but better things will come to those who work for it (Taken from I-dont-remember-where).
Alhamdulillah, segala pujian hanya bagi Allah. Semoga semua urusan dipermudahkan. :)

Gambar hiasan yang menginsafkan saya :). Moga kita jadi semut-semut kecil ini yang kadangkala orang tak sedar kewujudannya, tapi punya semangat kental dan gigih berusaha. Gambateh! 

jalan2 cari rumah...

Seharian cari rumah di mudah, tak jumpa lagi. Mcm stalker pon ada. Every 5 mins check. Less than 2 weeks dah nak ke utm. Mgu lepas seminggu stay di jb pon tak berhasil. Yang banyak rumah nak jual sahaja. Ada sampai terfikir nak beli rumah. Hihihihi...

Less than 150k, dah dpt rumah single storey yg sgt cantik. 210k pon blh dpt double storey, corner lagi. Tempted sungguh saya. Kalau sewa pon still kena bayar tapi hakmilik org lain. Kalau beli bulan2 byr pon jadi rumah kita. Tak gitu? Hahaha..amboiii amboiii..
Okla, esok sambung pula ya. Chaiyok chaiyokk!! :)

Random thoughts

So it is confirmed. I am off to JB by middle of next month. :)

Alhamdulillah. After the long wait, now the time has come for real. Excited. Nervous too. And a little sad. I still dont know whom to bring to UTM. Certainly it is not easy to make my preferences. Of course it is difficult when the option is againsts the mommyhood nature. Mellow me thinks I will certainly miss watching them grow up. I can always go home once a mth or maybe twice (uhuks!), but I can never make up the time I lost with them even for a sec. It counts, for me it does. I miss some part of the growing up process. Hopefully not on important dates, like birthdays, etc. So I have to make it clear to myself whatever I chose to do now must have greater values than the sacrifices the kids have to make. I guess even 10 phd degrees, will not be able to compensate everything, but at least, its worth it.

I dont know if its a good sign to have dreams about registering to hostels, going to labs, and having discussions with supervisor. Every night. Oh dear, cold sweats and I was shaking. I just hope that its normal to hv those endless dreams. And praying that it would not be that bad lah when it is happening for real. :)

And workwise, okay I must admit that somedays I do things like a machine, non-stop and so efficient. *perasan, pls excuse me*. But there were also days, when I dont feel like doing any work at all. My heart and my mind are already in UTM. Hehe... Should be a good sign right? As of now, with the help of dear hubby, we are doing some preparation over there, nasib baik lah not in london, otherwise kelam kabut juga la saya kan. :) And hoping that the settling down process will be easier too. OK, need to pass some files on FYP to a colleague. Weeeee..glad I dont have to do it anymore. Hehehe...Guilty but pleased...:) CR6 done, 2 reports on advance done, FYP prep done, docs to KPT done, now I am left with FRGS report and I have to close the account, also need to finish up on detergent book. Applying for 25 days annual leave too :).

Deep down, I do hope I made the right choice at the right time. And praying for everything to be alright. I dont know if success will be on my sides, but I guess I will never find out if I dont try. Oprah said the biggest adventure a person can ever take is to live the life of their dreams. So I will do just that. :) and YOU should too.

Harapan 2012

Assalamualaikum, dan apa kabar? Penghujung tahun menjelma lagi, 2012 bakal muncul pula.

Banyak suka duka di tahun ini, apa pon syukur Alhamdulillah atas semua pemberianNya. Kadang2 tak terjangkau dengan akal kita yang pendek tentang semua anugerah mahupon ujian dariNya. Semoga apa yang berlaku baik positif atau negatif dalam tahun ini menjadikan kita insan yang sentiasa bersyukur dan lebih mencintaiNya. Semoga limpahan rezeki dan nikmat tidak mengalpakan kita, jauh sekali menyebabkan kita bongkak, bahkan menjadikan kita lebih berusaha untuk memperbaiki kelemahan diri.  

Rasanya tak perlu untuk mencatat azam baru panjang berjela setiap tahun, tapi yang pasti perlu ada motivasi dan usaha untuk mencapai impian yang diharapkan. Untuk 2012, semoga menjadi lebih matang dan dipermudahkan kembara mencari ilmu untuk diperkongsikan suatu hari nanti. Juga, kehidupan yang lebih tenang dan kesihatan yang baik untuk semua. 2012 juga bermula penghidupan PJJ kami, yang ramai rakan2 yang sedang atau telah berjaya harungi. Harapan agar kami juga begitu lah, no pain no gain kan. Moga anak2 juga akan membesar dan memahami tentang tanggungjawab yang mama mereka pikul ini. Semoga jadi contoh yang baik juga untuk mereka suatu hari nanti untuk sentiasa mencari peluang menambah ilmu didada. Juga berharap akan dapat mengeratkan ukhwah yg sedia ada, dan nanti juga dapat sahabat2 yg baru dan baik juga di bumi skudai nanti.

Dalam masa sebulan ni, banyak juga tugasan yg perlu disiapkan. Harap2 oklah. Registration is 14th Feb, aduhai romantik tak tarikhnya?? Hehehe..Maybe have to turun JB, in January too untuk buat persiapan disana sebelum bawa anak. Nak bawa siapa pon tak sure ni? Hubby suggests bw syuhada, sbb dah besar so easier for me there. But dalam hati kesian juga dgn si kecil, masih menyusu lagi dgn saya. Sedih kan, tiap2 mlm mesti nak menyusu badan dulu baru dpt la dpt lena dia. So how now?? Another 3 mths before I hit my 2 yrs breastfeeding journey. Ok, big question mark there. I hope nanti, akan buat decision yang baik lah. Setiap saat asyik fikir juga ttg ini, risau ada excited pon ada :). Ya lah, 6 thn mengajar, now mau masuk kelas dan diajar lah pula. Mesti best kan??

Oklah, almost 2 p.m. now, kena selesaikan kerja2 lain dulu. Byk betul cuti hujung thn kan?? :) next wk monday cuti lagi sempena new yr. So, happy new yr to all, semoga menjadi lebih baik dari thn ini dan all the best! :)

Wondering if the grass is greener on the sides, but hopefully I dont have to this! :)

Corat coret

Hello blog, dah lama ditinggalkan. Apa kabar? :) Saya baik baik sahaja, cuma sibuk bermuka buku maka dah terlupa pula blog ini. Hihihi...So sorry..

Dari pagi cuba menyelesaikan tugas berkaitan FYP, sudah week 14, tak sangka masih ada yang belum berdaftar. Biar berulang kali beri arahan dari minggu pertama smpilah sekrg masih tak mau buat juga. Kadang-kadang naik fed up juga kita dibuatnya. Kalau anak kita, degil2 boleh juga dirotan, ni anak orang jentik sikit pon nanti ada yang datang bw parang pula. Macam neighbour makcik saya tuh, marah pelajar dia disekolah, last2 jadi sewel suka main api katanya dibuat orang. Tak pastila parents ka atau siapa lah tak puasa hati dgn dia tu. Harap2 dah sembuhla dia. Masalah betulkan kalau kes-kes begini yang terjadi, macam cerita tentang dhia tu, hmm tak patutla juga. Kalau takpuas hati lebih baik bersemuka dan berbincang.  

Anyway, byk pula tugasan yg perlu diselesaikan lately. Otak dah tepu jam 4 ptg nih, mengurus tentang FYP yang tak berkesudahan. Some ppl think it is easy organizing it, tapi dgn perangai yg pelbagai dari pelbagai lapisan manusia jenuh juga. Dan tak lupa juga special request dari sana sini yang perlu di layan. Sehingga kerja menampal2 announcement, sedia borang penilaian di bilik viva (tu pon siap komplen lain kali siap2 tulis nama student ya tak susah saya nak tulis), siapkan bilik viva. Dan macam2 lagila. Belum lagi kes mengejar markah dan gred utk masukkan dlm smp.Tapi dah 5 thn, so dah season saya rasa. Baru ni mintak nak sharing dgn colleague bos tak berapa nak bagi, lagila nak resign. So I am still stuck here. But sooner or later, I think somebody has got to take over once it is confirmed that my study leave is approved. The faster I pass this thing to somebody else, the easier it will become for her or him.  

Berckp ttg study leave, oh yeah blm ada apa2 news lagi sbb KPT pon belum bermesyuarat, dari nov drag ke disember, ni nak abis bulan dah pon x meeting lagi. So saya rasa la maybe in january la kali coz dah nak start cuti2 malaysia dah hujung tahun nih. Hopefully takde la apa2 masalah sgt application tu, coz hampir setiap malam dah mimpi sambung study. My teacher used to tell me kalau nak tau yg kita betul2 bagus dlm satu2 bahasa tuh kita akan bermimpi dan bercakap dalam bahasa tu. Aik macam takda kaitan, hehe tapi probably I just wanted this so much, so thats why sampai bermimpi2. Mana taknya asyik tu ja difikirkan kalau disiang hari, kerja pon ala2 ja sekarang asal cukup requirement. Hehe. Tula conference pon satu ja, publish paper pon satu ja. Bak kata orang, memenuhi minimun requirement lah utk skt. CPD pon sama lah juga, dah pergi beberapa course cukupla kot. Kelas pon yg ptg abis silibus dan penilaian. Oraitlah. Jangan tak diluluskan dah la patah nanti semangat akak. Hehehe..

Okla, maybe I should do a bit of work now. Maybe update SKT, and think about whether mau join the new scheme. SBPA? Semua la nak kan naik gaji, but to work until 60 yrs old and tangga gaji yang masih blur menyebabkan saya masih ragu-ragu. Tak gitu?

Just 2 weeks ago this boy suffered HFMD. Kesian tangan kaki semua blisters, including mouth. Sakit mulut, tak lalu la makan dan mengurus sedikit. Kesian betul tgk dia, nasib baik la its a mild ones, so tak berapa teruk seperti yang selalu kita dengar dalam tv or suratkabar. Ada yang kes bahaya juga kan sehingga maut. Alhamdulillah, Aiman recovered within a week. Syukur sangat-sangat. Tak boleh hantar seminggu ke nursery and DH pula out stationed for 1 wk. Kena la bawa ke ofis seminggu coz mama dia byk kerja dan cuti pon dah abis. Rough week, but alhamdulillah I managed to get through somehow. :)

See, the wide smile? Hmm.. I am happy too whenever he smiles. I accidently fed him peanut butter sandwiches this morning, when I knew all along he is allergic to peanuts. Huh, macam mana lah buleh lupa. I must have a million things in my head sampai terlupa, apalagi berbiji2 la dan merah sekeling mata budak montel ni. Nasib baik tak nangis. :) Mama so sorry okay. Hope you are much better petang nih.. Hugsss!!! Muax..

Lamban

Hi all, hari ini nak share resepi ibu saya membuat lamban. Lamban nih salah satu resepi tradisi masyarakat sabah, di sesetengah tempat di panggil kelupis dan ada beberapa teknik mau bungkus dia nih. Tapi biasanya di kampung saya di papar gini la rupanya.

Ibu saya berasal dari kelantan jadi selalunya hari raya mesti ada ketupat palas dan tapai pulut. Dua makanan wajib yang kena ada la kiranya. Tapi memandangkan buat ketupat palas ni rumit sedikit maka, kami pon dah bertukar membuat lamban. Beza lamban dan ketupat palas nih, lamban lebih lembik dan ketupat palas tuh padat sedikit sebab di tekan2 bila mau buat (itu lah part yg rumitnya). Sampai lebam2 ibu jari tau. Nak salam raya pon dah cramp ibu jari tak rasa apa. Betullll!!!.. Tapi kan dua dua pon sedap, enak dimakan bersama rendang maupon kari, serunding pon ok juga. Sesetengah orang suka makan dengan kuah kacang juga. Bak kata orang sabah, nyaman banar ani..

So cara2 nak buatnya:

1. 2 kilo beras direndam sekejap, dan dicuci bersih. Sukatan untuk santan, 1 kilo beras biasanya guna 2 biji kelapa. Air santan pula sama banyak lah dgn sukatan beras; 1 besen kecil beras untuk 1 besen santan. Guna bekas yg sama senang nak sukat. Masukkan santan dalam kuali. 2 biji kelapa akan gunakan 1 sudu besar garam, so kalau guna 4 biji kelapa untuk 2 kilo beras, garam kena lah letak 2 sudu ya. Kacau santan hingga mendidih, naik minyak dan sedikit hitam.
2. Masukkan beras yg ditos, kacau seperti dalam gambar 2. 
3. Inilah rupa beras yang separuh masak, siap untuk dibungkus dalam daun lamban. Daun lamban nih ada nama dia, tapi saya dah lupa pulak laa...daun larik ka tu??
4. Bungkus lamban dengan meletakkan 2 sudu besar pulut, atau letak lebih bergantung kepada saiz yg nak buat la. Ada orang suka yg comel2 ja saiznya, tapi kalau nak siap cepat bungkusla besar2 ala sepenumbuk (ish betul tau tak tipu, ada yg bungkus besar ni tapi nanti nak hidang kena la potong2 takut pengsan pula yg nak makan tu nanti kan). Lepas letak pulut, padatkan isinya dgn mengepit daun dan gulung2 dan kemudian lipat sisinya. Ikat dgn tali supaya lebih kemas.
5. Bila dah siap bungkus, nih la rupa dia. Kalau 2 kilo tuh, agak2 dalam 80-90 biji boleh dpt bergantung kepada saiz.Tapi opppsss jangan makan dulu, belum boleh makan lagi ni! Kena kukus dulu atau sapa yang suka rebus (lebih lembut pulut tu nanti), boleh la rebus sampai betul2 masak. Tempoh kukus, selalunya 45 mins dah ok, tapi kalau masih x berapa padat, maknanya tak berapa masak lagi. Maka kena kukus lebih lama. Tapi kalau nak derhaka, 45 min pon dah ok kali. Hehe 
6. 

Bah apa tunggu lagi, selamat mencuba ya! :)

Reality b.i.t.e.s!

Hye blog,


I am stucked at question 2. Boss sent an email reminding us the dateline, but it didnt really registered into my head. Never had I realized how difficult it is to complete a task when my mind is somewhere else. Reality bites. Focus is the keyword, but when the brain starts betraying you, nothing works. For real. Somedays I am super charged with ambitious me, somedays it is just plain me staring at the keyboard thinking hard what was the word I was supposed to type in. Lost without boundaries is pretty bad. Good pancake can actually brighten up your day, like it did to mine. Cant u see how fluffy & deliciously sweet it is with mapple syrup & and creamy butter on top? intense yum... 

Anyhoo, silly me. To think that blogging could save me. Heck maybe it will. It rained this morning, the smell of grass and sands after the rain reminded me of childhood memories. Pick a leaf & spot that crystal clear raindrops, soothing. I had a sudden flashback of pleasant, fresh cold morning breeze in kampung with the sounds of river flowing at the back of my house. My math teacher used to tease me in class of whether we had roads in sabah and that river is the only means to the nearest kampung. Maybe its true though, bet if I have a good boat now, I can travel to work from my kampung and landed exactly at ODEC and saves myself from the crazy traffics. Ha-ha! Yeah. But to say sabahan lives on tree, is to ridicule us. We could play monkeys sometimes, but that was intended, truth is, some sabahans had already live a better life 20 yrs ago. Beat that!

Despite the rain, it was such a lovely morning. Quiet with the kids still sleeping. A homey sight to see the kids curled in bed,  a little cold. I tried covering them with the blanket but it was useless as they will just kick it out of the bed, on auto mode. They formed the letter H while sleeping, oh well only god knows how many letters they  created last night. But it was such a sweet picture that I have slight guilt about waking them up for school. I think I am sooooo going to miss this, the kicks, the cries, the cuddling, the wee wee smells on bed, the nursing, the bedtime stories, the kindie stories, the kiss, & the whispers I love u too. Over dramatic as it may sound, I just need to make myself clear that this is happening for real, real soon. So I gotta embrace myself, get the kids well informed about it.

always makes me wanna sleep in between..:)

Last night after waiting for nearly 2 weeks, he finally answered my email. The excitement & anticipation overwhelmed me, I never realized how important it is to have a really good mentor-mentee relationship (silly kan?) until yesterday. The feelings is explosive. I guess this is how my FYP students might have felt each time I responded to them, to which I hope I have been a good supervisor to each of them all this while. Maybe this is why I cant keep my mind on work, the excitement  & worries, they came in bulk. I cant separate them. I cant wait to play the game, but I am worried too, of everything. Maybe this is normal, we wanna be good at something, but we end up being worst at other things. At the end of the day, all we can do is pray for the best, for everyone. 

Random thoughts

I am beginning to put less attention to teaching and deeply in love with research based work. So its true, they cant co-exist. You can either be good at one and sucks at the other. Time, situation, and priority shall determine which one you should be good at.

Hey I'm tweeting too these days, hahaha. Like a lost child I have begun clicking the buttons here and there. Seriously those buttons should come with instructions, easier for an IT virgin like me. I have graduated facebook (aiseh!), so what else did I miss?? I think I miss the boys la..dh outstation la..hehe

Entry pon dah merapu-rapu, maybe too stress doing this survey thingy since last week. Think I should go home early, or I need a retail therapy kali...huhu...Till then.